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Ethics in the Neonatal
Intensive Care Unit


by Deborah K. Davies, Ph.D.


As a psychologist specializing in perinatal bereavement and ethical issues in the NICU, I have worked with and written about many parents who decided to turn away from aggressive medical intervention.

On the danger of drawing lines:
Some people argue that we should draw a line whereby babies above the line are resuscitated and babies below are not. This is an attempt to make situations black and white in order to avoid gray areas and the attending difficult decisions. But drawing lines increases errors because it erases judgements. Any line will never be reasonable for every baby. Every situation is unique. Difficult decisions require delicate judgements, not lines drawn in an attempt to make these decisions easy. They will never be easy. They shouldn't be easy.

On the absurdity of slippery slope arguments:
For many babies, life or death decisions don't arise because there's no question about what is best. When a baby has a significant chance for healthy survival, then initiating and continuing medical intervention is unquestionably best for the baby. Likewise, when the prognosis is clearly grim, it is reasonable for docs to gently inform the parents that medical intervention would hold no benefit for the baby. In both of these situations, the way to go is clear; only one option is reasonable. There is no decision to make. The slippery slope argument that we should not let parents make decisions because "Next thing you know, they'll be denying medical intervention to a baby who is missing a thumb", is absurd. Or the opposite, that "Soon they'll be demanding that we try to resuscitate embryos" is equally absurd. Not every situation poses a choice between options or demands decisions to be made. But there is a gray area, where the best option isn't clear, and these difficult decisions require thoughtful, heartfelt judgements by the parents.

On why parents should make life & death decisions in the NICU:
When the prognosis is uncertain, and particularly when it is most likely to be dismal at best, questions (should) arise among medical staff - "Do we resuscitate or not?" or "Do we continue artificial life support or not?" In these precarious cases, where the prognosis or treatment outcomes are uncertain, when there are options and the best option isn't clear, PARENTS should be the primary decision-makers. If medical staff had all the answers or could accurately predict the future, then I'd say let them decide. But they don't and they can't. Parents don't and can't either, but when informed and given time to ponder the realities, they are in the best position to decide which path they and their baby should go down. After all, it is THEIR journey. Whether to rely on the guidance of medical opinions, their religion or community standards should be up to them. Whether to be swayed by the grimmest statistics or to grasp for the dimmest rays of hope, should be up to them.

It is natural for every doc and nurse to have a personal bias. But it is presumptuous, proprietary and self-righteous for health care providers - or anyone else - to claim they know what is the right decision for another family in these uncertain situations. This is true whether our bias is toward saving every baby, or letting nature take its course with every baby who's under a certain weight or gestational age. If we have an opinion, we are entitled to surmise what we might have done for our own baby, but to stop there. We are not entitled to demand that others obey our own intuitions, instincts, morals or opinions. It is also not our job to protect parents from feelings of responsibility by excluding them from the decision-making process. Parents have strong nurturing instincts and it is so very meaningful for them to be able to express their love through making important, compassionate decisions. It is true that most parents have doubts about their decision, but this is a normal and natural part of the grieving process, whether they grieve for a baby who died or for a child who is severely disabled. Wrestling with second thoughts is also a way for parents to evaluate, solidify and embrace the beliefs and principles that guided their decisions.

You can encourage parents by reminding them that they feel badly, not because they made a bad decision, but because the decision was so very painful to make. When the best path is unclear, fully informed parents are the best decision-makers. No one is closer to that baby in blood, body and spirit than the mother and father. Their best guess is the best one of all. No one else can decide for their baby as carefully, thoughtfully, purposefully and solemnly as they do. No one else can be more agonized, calculating and soul-searching. This is a decision that must be made with the mind, gut and heart. Your own baby would want you to make this decision, not strangers.

On parents who turn away from aggressive medical intervention:
In my work with bereaved parents and parents of premature babies, the predominant concern parents have is about the suffering that their tiny babies and children endure. For the parents who decided to let nature take its course, either in the NICU or years later, it was apparent to them that the suffering far outweighed the current or potential benefits. The prospect or experience of living with a handicapped child concerned them NOT because of the hassle that entails for them, but because of the misery that their child would or did have to bear.

On what I tell grieving parents:
Part of being a parent is discovering those remarkable feelings of devotion to your child's well-being and happiness. And part of being a devoted parent is to gradually let go. Normally, letting go is a drawn-out process of trusting the child to find her own path through life, giving her room to grow into a responsible, independent person. Most parents have many years to give their child both roots and wings. But when the letting go involves death, particularly so soon after birth, it can be incredibly difficult. It's just too soon. As such, deciding to turn away from aggressive medical intervention can be the ultimate act of parental devotion. The urge to protect and hold onto your baby at all costs can be so strong, and yet, your sense of "what is best for my child" prevails upon you to give your child wings. This takes a lot of courage, faith and love.

Respectfully,

Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.

Author of Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby (Fulcrum, 1991; 1996) and Loving and Letting Go: For Parents who Decided to Turn Away from Aggressive Medical Intervention for Their Critically Ill Newborns (Centering, 1993); co-author of Neonatal Guidelines for the Colorado Collective for Medical Decisions, 1997.


Copyright 1999 Deborah K. Davies



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