SUPPORTING
PARENTS
By:
Becky Hatfield
I
appreciate being asked to speak to you today. I wished that I did not have to
follow Helen... she is not an easy act to follow. I also want you, as an
audience, to know how much I admire Helen Harrison. She has become one of our
country’s foremost advocates for preemies and their parents. I publicly
want to thank her for her work and dedication.
I
feel that all of us here today are making history. Only one other time have I
felt the “magic” that I feel today. It was 1984, in SLC on October
11
th-13th.
That was when Parent Care met as a group for the first time at the Hotel Utah.
What we have here today in Cobo Hall in Detroit Michigan is just as
extraordinary. I hope you all feel it, take it home with you and that you will
remember today for years to come.
I
would like you to know why I am here. Some of you already know me. For those
who do not, I am the parent support specialist at the University of Utah
Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA. I have the opportunity of working with
families experiencing high risk pregnancy or those families having a baby born
critically ill requiring care in our NCU. I co-ordinate the parent support
group and work closely with the perinatal staff of our Hospital. I have been
doing this for a long time. Parent to Parent was the first support group of
it’s kind in the United States. We started in early 1975. At that time
I was a volunteer. Parent support is not just a job for me. It is a passion.
There are three reasons for that passion and my reasons for being here.
Alison, Rachel, and Grier, my children. On August 12
th
1974, my husband Gary and I were becoming parents for the first time. Water
had broken and labor had started; 12 weeks early. We were very confused and
frightened. There had been no prenatal classes to prepare for the much
anticipated natural childbirth; there had been no time. I was not far enough
along in the pregnancy. I did not know what to do, and I was
very
frightened about labor. Gary did not know how to help me, but he was allowed
to be there and that was important to me and to Gary, because not too many
years ago, fathers were not allowed in the delivery room during a premature
birth.
August
14
th,
36 very terrifying hours after arriving at the hospital. I had been given
drugs, first to stop labor, and then in induce it because of decelerations in
the baby’s heart rate. It’s 9:36 AM. A girl. She did not cry. I
will never forget how Gary gently squoze my hand and brushed the hair off of my
forehead, and together we cried. I didn’t get to hold my baby. We
didn’t get to talk about whose nose she had, or count her fingers and
toes. Gary didn’t get to carry her to the nursery. She was rushed away
from us at birth, by strangers. The Doctors and Nurses just shook their heads.
We had no chance to get to know the little person who had just entered our
world. We assumed she was being cared for... but se weren’t there. W
could not care for her and I felt as if I had abandoned her. Sad feelings for
what we had anticipated as one of the most joyous occasions of our lives
together.
There
were no cigars and no flowers delivered. No one sent congratulatory notes.
There were not baby gifts. There was
no
celebration. Phone calls were few, and those who did call didn’t know
what to say.
Our
baby was transferred to the Newborn ICU at the University of Utah Hospital in
Salt Lake City, Utah. When the Doctors said that the transport team was there
and going to take our baby the University, I decided that she must already be
dead, because I did not know what an NICU was. 23 years ago there were no
pictures of preemies on telethons, in magazines, or on 20-20. I thought that
they were taking her away to do experiments on her, because I knew they did a
lot of research at the University of Utah.. We were then able to see her in
the transport isolette. I could not touch or hold her, but I did see that she
was alive and the Doctor from the NICU explained where they were taking her and
that they would all they could to save her life.
This
was not the way it was supposed to be. Gary was running from one Hospital to
another trying to tell me what was going on... dealing with the questions from
family and friends and holding down a job... we had to have that insurance,...
not much for him to deal with huh?... I, in contrast, sat quite alone and
empty, in my hospital room, listening to the other mothers with their new
healthy babies.
After
98 roller coaster ride days in NICU, my first baby, Alison, came home with us.
She is still quite medically fragile, but bad lungs are something we can death
with. We are so fortunate that she can walk, talk, and smile. She is 23, 24
next month, and has just received her Nursing degree. She will be married on
September 16
th.
She is a miracle, and I thank God for her life every day. After her birth, I
was anxious to help start our support group at the University of Utah Hospital.
I hoped, that no one would ever have to feel as alone as we felt when going
through the NICU.
My
second child, Rachel, now 21 was also a high risk pregnancy. We were terrified
again, when I went into labor at exactly 27.5 weeks, the same day as I
delivered Alison. We then spent 12 weeks in bed, not daring to do anything I
shouldn’t because I didn’t want to see the NICU as a parent again.
It felt wonderful, when after her term delivery, I got to hold her, and believe
me I did count her fingers and toes. I realized how different and incredible
it was having a full term healthy baby. It was a day of celebration.
Our
third child, a son, Grier, now 16 and 6 ft.2 inches tall was also a challenge
in getting here. I began bleeding and contracting at 7 weeks, not yet a
confirmed pregnancy. I was told that the only person that could do anything
for this baby at this time was me. if I stayed down and took it easy I may be
able to carry this baby a ways longer... not having much hope of a live birth.
I spent the next 29 weeks on bedrest, my water broke and we delivered Grier at
34 weeks, thinking that every would be okay.. it’s 34 weeks! Lungs
collapsing, intubation and an air transport to the University of Utah
Hospital... and it’s funny because this time I was relieved... knowing
that he was where they could care for him. I felt ike a failure as a woman, a
wife and a mother, because after all of that time on bedrest - 203 days - I had
failed everyone again. We took Grier home after 21 days in NICU. I felt like
the luckiest woman in the world. I still feel that way, and I guess I am...
My
assignment for this time period is Parent Support. I would like to begin
with
a definition of support. It is taken from Websters New World Dictionary.
Support
means: 1. To carry the weight of; hold up 2. To encourage; help 3. To
advocate; uphold 4. To maintain (a person institution, etc.) with money or
subsistence 5. To help prove, vindicate, etc. 6. To bear; endure
When
a family is experiencing a high risk pregnancy and birth, there are many kinds
of support available. Please know that I may have left off some support
people, unintentionally, the list is virtually endless, but these are some that
I thought of...
- Support
from family - parents, siblings, grandparents
- Support
from friends, neighbors
- Support
from Medical staff, your Doctors, nurses, practitioners
- Support
from clergy/church
- Support
from specialized professionals; psychologists, therapists
- Support
from educational materials, books, videos, television the Internet
...
Last
but not least...
- Support
from parents who have been there... parent support groups
We
heard in the last session, and we know from personal experience, the extreme
emotional impact having a baby born critically ill can have on a family. I am
not going to go into that. My task is support. I would like to focus on
parent support groups. In the last 20 plus years the emergence of such groups
as my own group Parent to Parent, Preemie-l, the Alexis Foundation... I could
take all my time to just list the groups, but their existence attests to the
fact the parents helping parents does make a difference in the difficult,
painful NICU journey.
I
would like to acknowledge and thank the members of preemie-l and my support
group members that shared their feelings about support with me. I asked for
input. How people feel about parent support. Reasons why parent support is
important. I asked for specifics as to why support groups are important, how
support groups helped in the NICU course and why parents got involved. I will
not mentions specific names simply because most responses were duplicated
several times. But again, I thank all who did respond, for your time and your
input. It was very helpful.
Why
Support Parents
The
point of this talk to stress that support is essential in the NICU. It
doesn’t matter where that support comes from. All families have
different needs. That is what must be realized. Just as every baby has a
different care plan, so should every set of parents.
For
many new parents in NICU, traditional family support systems are sufficient and
very comfortable. These families are fortunate. If you have a good
relationship with your parents, grandparents, and siblings, and feel that
they truly understand your predicament maybe a support group is not something
that is needed. Also, some parents are very private. They do not feel
comfortable sharing their deepest feelings with strangers. It is important to
be able to talk to someone. To find someone to listen, and often a family
member is that support.
If
your immediate family is not that supportive some NICU families turn to close
friends or neighbors. Also, some of us in this mobile culture may not have the
luxury of family being a stone’s throw away. I may live in SLC and my
family may live in Florida., or I may live in Connecticut and my family may be
in California. You may feel closer to those you work with or live near. A very
moving comment, by Ed Martinelli was when he posted to preemie-l,
“Imagine the relief of coming home and finding that someone mowed your
lawn while you were at the hospital” A neighbor that cares enough to
take over such a task, or offers to make dinner or tend the kids can be a
lifesaver. Small tasks become very important and supportive in the crazy
world of NICU.
Many
families state that support from Medical staff is the most important support.
They feel that if the doctors and nurses understand how they feel and what they
are going through, that is enough. Also, that may be the only support
available in the Hospital setting. Some of you contributors stated that there
was no support group available. That the staff were supportive and helped you
survive the ordeal. I think that many times the bedside nurse that you see
every day
is
an incredible source of support. I continually try reinforce to the nursing
staff at our hospital how important their role to families really is. That for
many parents, the nurses literally teach us how to parent our preemie. Medical
staff support is essential to us NICU parents.
Some
of us also find tremendous support through our chosen Church or through the
Clergy. The fact that NICU’s allow this support, and many provide it, is
critical in helping us cope.
Some
of us find we need more intense support from specialized professionals. As a
support coordinator, I know that sometimes parents emotional needs are far
beyond what I, or my support group should handle. Social workers, therapists
and psychologists are available and should be used when necessary. We also
have Crisis Workers in our Hospital, and often they are called to our Unit to
help a family “get through” a crisis.
Another
very valuable source of support is educational materials. Many parents want to
have all of the info they can get in print. We give, through fund raisers and
donations, every family in our Unit with a baby under 32 weeks, the book
Newborn
Intensive Care, What Every Parent Needs to Know.
Any family with an older baby, or one that is very sick also receives this
book if they would like it. We have many other books available. We also try to
have videos, magazine and journal articles that are parent friendly. I also
have 2 Internet Newsletters available, as well as our own... and a list of
Internet resources for those that need or wish it. Many of the Internet
resources are very valuable to families. They can get support, as many of us
do with preemie-l, in the comfort of their own homes, on their own turf and on
their own time. Families cope better with knowledge. They need and want to
understand.
Now
I would like to talk more about Support Groups and Support Group Basics
There
are many different support groups.. As any of you know that try to do
fundraising...there are support groups for everything. Basically, the two most
common for preemie families - still in the NICU - are the Hospital based or the
Community based support group.
As
I said earlier, I co-ordinate a Hospital based support group. I am on staff at
our Hospital and am a part of the medical care team. I attend rounds,
discharge meetings, care conferences... I am the liaison for Parent to Parent.
I work with staff, the new parents in the Unit and also the support group
members. With permission, I give input to the staff, as to how new parents are
doing. Our group has been fairly successful. I wished that every NICU had a
parent support coordinator. I was fortunate to have parent support from Parent
to Parent and from the Parent Coordinator when my son Grier was born
prematurely. The group, and the coordinator who was my very good friend Sandy
Garrand, literally helped me emotionally survive this second NICU experience.
What
I am giving you today is very basic. I would be most happy to talk to anyone
about setting up, or maintaining a support organization at any time. Maybe
next year, this conference could have a session on both of those topics.
In
our Hospital based group I get referrals directly from NICU and L & D each
morning. I check to see who is admitted and make my contacts from there. I
either make one on one referrals to one of my volunteers or encourage the new
parents to attend our weekly group meetings with graduate parents.
I
think the benefit of a hospital based support group is that there is someone on
site, there to meet new families right from the start of the experience. We
try to contact new families within 24-48 hours of admission. Sometimes that
is not possible. But to talk to a family in the early stages of the experience
seems to help. Sometimes, as you will remember, right at first a lot of
parents don’t have questions... simply because they just don’t know
what questions to ask...so we just talk to new families.
We
also have a lunch for antepartum, or bedrest patients each Tuesday. These moms
are wheeled to a large room, their hospital lunches from the cafeteria are
brought to them there and we have lunch. Others that attend are a graduate
parent, a Social Worker, a clinical nurse specialist and myself. This gives
the new high risk mom a time to look forward to “getting out of her
room”. It also gives her a connection before she ever delivers. She
knows someone who has been through what she is going through and also some of
the other support people in the Perinatal area.
Our
group, Parent to Parent has a Board of Directors, bylaws, a formal address and
phone number and regularly scheduled meeting times. We have Parent night once
a week and membership/board meetings once a month. Sometimes these meetings
are well attended, sometimes they are not attended. But parents know someone
is there for them.. These meetings are in the hospital, during shift change
and only for about an hour. We do not hold them in the NICU. Parents get away
from there for a few minutes, talk, cry, vent, and go back to be with their
infant. Hospital based seems to work for us.
All
Hospital based support groups are not the same. Each Institution has
it’s own set of rules and regulations. Some groups have paid
coordinators like me, some have Nurses and social workers who fill that role.
Community
based groups can also be very effective. I am not an expert of community based
support groups, so I will give you just a little bit of info and hope you can
meet with some of the Community based leaders in the audience if you wish more
information. The groups that I am familiar with are very diverse. As each
Hospital is different, so is each community.
The
Community Based Group I am most familiar with has volunteers that will go to
several Hospitals to meet new families. They have as many as 10 Hospitals they
work through.
Some of these groups are funded through the Hospitals that they serve. Some
are funded through Grants or Foundations. Some get help from other Non-Profits
like the March of Dimes. Some are literally funded by the volunteers that run
them, and quite a few are funded in a combination of more than one of these
sources. These groups are usually given a referral from a staff person in a
referring NICU. This could be a social worker, a nurse or a Doctor. They may
have meetings in a community building, they may rotate to different hospitals.
They may have one coordinator, they may have one in each facility or hospital
that they serve.
Even
though every support group is unique, there are some very common elements that
will help the group sink or swim.
One
of the most important things for any support group to do is set goals. Whether
your group is Hospital Based, Community based or Internet based... goals are
essential. Set some short term goals. Have several. They can be as simple as
finding a place and a time to meet. Another short term goal could be having a
successful reunion each year, or having something for the new moms on Mothers
Day, or for Dads on Fathers Day.
Then
set long term goals... what is it you want this group to do or where would you
like to be in say - 5 years or 10 years. A long term goal could be setting up
and funding a library in your NICU.
Some
volunteers would rather focus on a short term goal... something they can
complete and maybe move on afterwards. Others may wish to focus on the long
term goal...to continue to make a difference for future parents. Short term
and long term... these goals are equally as important for support groups.
It
is also very important to remember to re-evaluate your group. Things change in
time... what Parent to Parent did 23 years ago is very different from what we
do now. I could have never envisioned Preemie-l, or the Internet, back then.
Supporting families is what it is all about. You’ve got to be willing to
change with the times...you’ll be much more successful.
Another
important factor in having a successful group is to network. A new group can
learn so much from an established one. Also, established groups can get
enthusiasm and new ideas from the new groups. This kind of meeting, where you
are sitting today, helps us know what is going on in other NICU’s
throughout the world. This kind of forum or meeting is invaluable to support
group leaders.
Who
Benefits from Support
High
risk pregnancy or an NICU experience threatens a parents self esteem.
Very
often the pregnancy is labeled abnormal, high risk or “a problem”.
All NICU parents have felt, to some degree, the grief over the loss of the
dream of the perfect pregnancy or the perfect newborn. What should be a
natural, fulfilling experience often becomes one of uncertainly and fear
resulting in a critically ill baby.
Many
NICU parents feel a loss of control over their lives at present; and also what
the future will hold for their infant or the possibility of future pregnancies.
Attitudes
regarding the role of parents in the NICU began to change for the better in the
mid 1970s. Health care professionals recognized that excluding parents from
the NICU was detrimental to the well being of the infant and the family unit.
As NICU’s became more family focused (now referred to as family centered)
it was realized that parents had unique needs that were not being met by
professionals, extended family members and friends. These parents might do
better if they could talk to someone who truly understood how they felt about
what they were going through... another NICU parent.
I
would like to share with you, some quotes from parents. These parents had no
support group, but still talk about how important support would have been for
them. As I said earlier, I will not use names, but I will use first
initials...
N
said: “We were not aware of any support group while (our baby) was in
the NICU. However, the nurses, physicians, social worker, etc. provided so
much support to us. It was after we left the NICU that we felt terribly alone.
We could have really used help out in the ‘real world’. If it was
so hard for us, I can’t imagine what it is like for a family with a baby
who has more serious physical problems.”
P
said: “I would say that a parent support group would have been very
important when my son was born. My parents didn’t want to hear about
(him) because they didn’t know what to do. My mother-in-law was always
crying and I had the impression because of this, that I had not the space to
cry, to tell my own feelings and I felt so lonely. Nobody was there to listen
to my worries, concerns and answer my questions.”
T
said: “We didn’t really have a support group at the hospital where
(our baby) was born, but we made a support group among several moms and dads
who had very small preemies and were in there for a long period of time. We
were all working parents so we would meet every night at the same time to see
our babies and we would talk about things that were bothering us. It really
helped.”
The
next Mom had no support group, but has been very active in parent issues since
their child’s hospitalization. A said: “ My husband and I
didn’t have access to support groups at the hospital our son was at. In
fact they are just trying to form one now, and we’ve been asked to help
on their board of directors. This is 5 ½ years after my son was born. I
have been active with preemie issues since my son’s release, and through
the last couple of years I assisted with co-writing a transitional planner, and
have edited other materials regarding premature baby issues. “ She also
stated that she is currently editing a book and doing a lot of research on
preemie as well as maternal issues. She says, “I have tried to continue
to be a support as a resource, since that was something my husband and I would
have appreciated. I know how important it is to have somebody you can ask
questions of and ask for information and resources. That is why I try to pass
the experience I have on to other who need it.”
The
next quotes are from parents who confirmed the importance of NICU support, and
how a group helped them cope.
K
said: “There were many times that I felt alone and that no one really
understood. Having someone else who has gone through it or is going through it
sure made a difference for me. I was able to talk to other people going
through the same things and the same emotions. It gave me hope”
Another
K said: “When you are going through the NICU experience it seems surreal
- you live in a high tech world with a totally different language and it seems
unbelievable that the world outside the NICU is unchanged...Your friends and
family try to be supportive - but don’t really understand... the parent
support group is where you can talk to parents going through the same thing as
you, as well as parents who have been there and lived through it. Seeing the
“big kids” who were once in the same place as your little one,
gives hope - much more than words. It’s okay to express your fears and
hope and to celebrate little successes that wouldn’t register as a
‘success’ outside.”
B
said: “I think it is important to know that other parents have gone
through what you are going through presently. I feel that finding out that
feelings are very common among preemie parents validates your feelings.
Support is important because you are thrust into a situation where you are not
the one in control, and knowing that you do not have to bear your burden alone
can make the burden easier.”
“While
in the Unit, I always wondered what my baby would look like when he was
discharged, was he going to ‘look’ normal? It was hard to picture
a cute little baby boy when he had transparent skin, and tubes and wires all
over him. Seeing former preemies helped. Visualization was something that was
important to me then”
She
continued “The support group was a safe place where we could share our
feelings and not feel threatened either by ‘don’t have a
clue’ comments or people not understanding what we were talking about...
like medical terminology, excitement in the small milestones.”
L
said: “It was wonderful to me because it was the only people I felt
‘normal’ with during the ordeal. I never had to explain what CPAP
was or how the pulse ox worked. I never had to answer questions like
‘what did you do’ that caused my daughter’s prematurity. I
could just be myself and focus on my child and ...helping our family get
through it... I would have never survived without knowing that we were not
alone in what we went through.”
K
said: “I attended 3 meetings while (my baby) was in the NICU. They
helped IMMENSLEY. I think mainly because I had parents to look to for
guidance, ones who had been through what I was going through... Sadly, it also
gave me a time to compare and say, you know it could be worse. We exchanged
loads of tips on dealing with relatives, which the nurses and social workers
just couldn’t do. It is important for emotional health of the parents,
the grandparents and the marriage. I think it is one place where parents can
express their fear and concerns without fearing judgement from staff.”
The
next group of quotes are from parents who are involved in support groups and
why they feel that their efforts are necessary. Also, how being involved in
support groups has helped
them
deal with their own experiences.
L
said: “ After quitting work, I needed something meaningful to do! It
was also a pay back for all the help and support I received from a support
parent. It helped re-affirm the fact that I SURVIVED and I’m okay!”
J
said: “I guess for me it is basically my way of giving a little back and
also I feel better about making others feel a little less scared because I was
pretty scared and alone.”
B
said: “I want to be there for them and let them know they are not alone
in their feelings. I feel I am giving back something to the hospital. I feel
the public has so much to learn about us preemie parents and our children. I
had the privilege of helping to start our group. Some of our members have felt
the need to ‘move on’ to other things. I, for some reason, have
never gotten to that point.”
D
said: “giving to others, helping others is always a payback in the fact
that it makes you feel good. It gives you self esteem and makes you more
outgoing. You can make valuable friendships that you treasure. I gained a lot
of knowledge from (my support group). I’ve been able to go to
conferences and learn from other parents and medical personnel, authors, etc. I
have gained understanding of how others must feel and the kind of problems they
are facing. Nobody is always right - not a Doctor, Not a teacher - you have to
go on a feeling. I have learned that other parents have, but it always helps
to share - what you’ve learned, what they’ve learned - that you are
not alone. It is ALWAYS a pay back. You can be helping, but gaining at the
same time.”
L
said: “ I think that it is important to support other families, because
I’ve been there. I have been at the isolette day after day, and looking
at my baby for the first time, and remembering how terrible that I felt. How I
felt that it was my fault, and thinking that I was all alone in this. It is
important to have people there for you, and for me to be there for them!”
P
said: “I had wished at that time that (my baby’s) birth could help
somebody. That it would not be worthless, all the things we went through, that
somebody has not to go through all of this alone... I became a member of (my
support group) five years ago. I think I helped some parents but the person I
helped the most was me. I was able to reconcile with myself, and I am still
involved in the association.
C
said: “I have benefited greatly from the satisfaction of knowing that I
have helped another parent travel through the grief process to the point where
they let the child of their dreams ‘die’ and accept the child that
they have. In doing this I realize that I have overcome and continue to
overcome obstacles and disappointments of raising a daughter with a
disability.”
S
said: “I met a former patient with her baby of 5 months, who HAD gone
through a similar situation of bedrest and hospitalization. This graduate mom
must have thought I was a basket case, because all I could do was cry and look
at her baby - what a total relief to see one that was OK, thinking some day I
want to do that for someone else. To help them feel even SOME of that kind of
assurance that in spite of how hard it is to get through ... there is an end!
I kept thinking, If I can just get through this, I promise I will help others
to know that they can too. I find that sharing my experiences keeps my life
in perspective - remembering what is the most important thing - my family. It
reminds me each week of how blessed I am to have my son and my daughter. The
personal growth in me since my experience compares to no other in my life. I
learned that service to others is the key; giving myself to others helps me to
forget about myself, and reminds me daily that I have so much - even though it
is hard - all I have to do is visit some other mom who is having a hard time
and I end up feeling better about helping her and about myself.”
S
said: “ I feel that parent support has most benefited me because it gives
me an opportunity to continually work through the issues of my own experience.
I also have benefited because I find that ALL of my emotions and feelings are
shared by many different parents. My compassion and emotions towards others
who share my experience continues to grow. Many times I have felt anger and
frustration because my family doesn’t always understand my experience and
continuing fears. I find comfort in knowing that others may not feel so alone
because of my support and involvement with them. If I can help one family
through the pain and loss of having a premature infant and give them the
knowledge that I truly care about them, there is no greater gift I could give
or that I could receive from parent support.”
K
said: “ I became involved to help my self heal. Also, to lend help to
others, especially ones who dealt with rough problems like marriage
difficulties and insane in-laws.... you know those topics that seem to be
taboo. To help better understand the workings of families when dealing with
preemie birth, and to meet others who I could discuss my child with freely,
ones who understood the lingo and concerns of an “older preemie”
She
then concluded: “If I can prevent one mom from coming as close to going
over the edge as I did, I feel like I am doing something incredibly
worthwhile.”
As
I said earlier in this talk, some parents are very private and say that they
are uncomfortable sharing their personal feelings with strangers. NICU is a
difficult time, and I hope that a parent support group is never
“shoved” down anyone’s throat as the “best” way
to cope. One mom, S, explained her feelings as follows... “with my
first preemie, I don’t know if there actually were meetings... I was too
wrapped up in the horror of my of situation to talk to other people going
through the same thing... but when I became aware of the fact that everything
a parent said or did became nurses notes, the hospital became a very, very
hostile feeling place to me. Everyone was pleasant and ‘appeared’
sympathetic, but if you were stupid enough to express your concerns,
you’d soon find that the next shift of nurses, was asking pointed
questions, and ‘quoting’ concerns that you had given to someone
else. The time in NICU gave me a fishbowl feeling, that to a private person
like myself was almost painful. I made a point not to say anything to anyone
in the hospital because I didn’t know or trust anybody I met through the
hospital setting. When my second daughter briefly wound up in the NICU, I
clearly recalled the situation from the first time and made a point to say
nothing... Strangely, I became (my baby’s) primary nurses’ project.
She pushed and pushed the parents group, which of course made me all the more
unwilling... every time she asked I would politely smile and say - how nice
that you have that group, I’m sure it’s wonderful, right now, I
feel being with my daughter is what I’d really like to do Thanks! And
she’d try again and again... I think there are probably lots of people
like me who ‘get through’ the crisis before they begin to process
and cope with what happened, also many people are shy in person...
Then
“S” then stated something very important... she
continues...”which is why this virtual community (preemie-l) is such a
wonderful alternative to support group meetings.”
S,
needed support, and found the kind of support that was right for her. She
found Preemie-l and some of you in this room.
I
would like, for just a minute, to talk a little more about our hosts for this
meeting, Preemie-l and the Alexis Foundation. I would like to join all of you
in thanking them for making this experience possible. These groups are the
ultimate in support for families in NICU’s throughout the world. I would
like to make sure everyone knows what they are all about. Not everyone in the
audience subscribes to preemie-l. Not everyone knows what the Alexis
Foundation is all about. I would not feel that my talk were complete without
mentioning the unique support these groups offer families, staff and laypeople
everywhere.
The
Alexis Foundation
is a non-profit Foundation that provides support, educational and informational
services for parents and families of prematurely born infants and children.
They promotes both public and political awareness of the problems that preemies
and their families face and they advocate for premature children to ensure that
they receive the best medical and educational services available.
The
founders of The Alexis Foundation are parents of premature twin girls born ten
days apart. Alexis Sayers was born on January 29, 1994 at 24 wks. gestation,
weighing only 1 lb 6 ozs. Kaitlyn Sayers was born on February 8, 1994, at 26
wks. gestation, weighing only 1 lb, 10 ozs. The Foundation was named in loving
memory of Alexis who fought for her life for 27 days until her tiny body could
fight no more. It was created in honor of all premature infants who fought the
battle to survive, even if they lost. The Foundation helped a family whose
tiny baby spent his first months on my turf, in the NICU at the University of
Utah Hospital. I applaud them for what they do, and what they stand for.
Preemie-l
. I don’t know where to start. For those of you who do not know, and if
you all know... please humor me and be patient for a few minutes longer...
Preemie-l was started by Gary Hardy and Anne Casey after the birth of their
premature son, Vincent. Preemie -l is an incredible support network,
consisting of a web site and an e-mail based, as well as a message board type,
discussion forum that exists only on the Internet.. The group includes not
only parents of premature babies from throughout the world, going through the
NICU experience presently, but many parents of premature babies as they grow up
and face the challenges of life after the NICU. I can think of no better
source of support. I wished that every NICU throughout the world (and God
knows that includes my own) had Internet access for the parents in their Units.
I am glad my friend Michael Hynan, told me about preemie-l. I can not longer
imagine not having them as a resource in my NICU.
(Conclusion)
Having
babies in the NICU changes lives forever. It has for all of us... That is why
we are all here today. In the years that I have been offering parent support,
I have gotten so much, more than I have ever given.
Through
all that has happened to all of us, we’ve become educated. We have
learned things we never imagined learning. We have attained a
great
deal of knowledge. It is amazing how much we had to learn in the weeks or
months that our babies were hospitalized. We have read books, articles and
have courageously surfed the net. We have learned a lot from the medical
world... but we, as parents of critically ill infants, have learned a lot about
life.
We
have learned about compassion... real compassion, feeling the pain that others
feel. How can we not feel compassion for someone in whose shoes we once walked..
We
have learned about fear... being afraid is not always bad.. you can
grow
from being afraid...
We
have learned about strength and courage - not only from each other, as parents
going through NICU... but from our children... think about how much you have
learned of strength and courage from your children.
We
have also learned about grieving... for the actual heartbreaking loss of an
infant... for the loss of the dream we had of the perfect birth experience, for
the perfect baby... for the movie setting outcome... for the perfect life... we
have learned that grieving for the loss of the dream is normal and natural.
The fear, anger, and the returning anxiety, are all normal feelings that
accompany such a loss.
We
have learned how to be patient, we have had too... bedrest, NICU,
re-hospitalizations, Dr. visits, waiting for answers to questions, results of
tests... evaluations... maybe she’ll be better next year...we have all
learned how to “hurry up and wait”.
We
have learned how to listen... to each other. To the parents that we support,
to the families that care about these fragile babies... but also to the
professionals... medical, insurance and educational professionals. We also
know that some of what we have had to listen to, is not what we have wanted to
hear.
In
addition to listening we have also learned to speak out. We have become
advocates... for our own children in our personal experiences. We have also
become advocates for others in our communities.
We
have learned
a
lot
about relationships... family, neighbors, friends and professionals
relationships. They are all connected, important, if not essential in getting
through what we have had, in what we do.
We
have learned to appreciate what we have. I so appreciate my husband, Gary, who
is more supportive than I ever deserve...my children and their health... and
literally for their lives.
We
have also learned a lot about love... the kind of love that is unconditional...
even if our baby isn’t perfect or if our lives are upside-down... we
love. Sometimes more so because of the struggles.
We
have also learned about friendship. You all know that going through what we
have has shown you who your real friends are. I have had the opportunity to
meet all of you as a result of having a critically ill newborn. In my own
warped way, I guess I am glad that I have had this experience. Some of my
dearest, most cherished friendships are with those I have met as a result of my
experiences. I do know for a fact that I would not have been here speaking to
you today if I had not once been a terrified parent in the NICU.
As
I look around this room, there are old friends, new friends... we all share one
thing... our experiences in NICU. We share a love for preemies, for our own
families, hopefully for ourselves. We also share the fact that we survived so
far. I thank you for having me here today... for patiently listening to me
and most of all I thank you for having the courage to be here.
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